The Fear Behind Change
We are smack dab in the middle of a Full Moon and New Moon cycle, so, I am finding myself thinking about change. Both the Full and New Moon represents times of change. During the Full Moon we are invited to reflect on things we want to release or let go of in our life that no longer serves us; a time for self-care and putting our needs at the top of our list. During the New Moon, we are invited to look at our goals through the optimistic and energizing lens of a fresh start and new beginnings; a time for self-confidence to achieve growth and change.
I love the idea of the moon cycles as anchors for our hopes, inspirations, wishes, dreams, intentions, and future manifestations.
The time in between is filled with opportunities to fully tune in to our inner voice or inner knowing and use the energy of the Universe to initiate and propel us into the change process.
But as hopeful and inspiring as that is…I know change can feel difficult. Goals can seem out of our reach or too hard to achieve. At times it even appearing more difficult to stay positive and believe that we can maintain the desired outcome. Leading to the frustration that makes us throw in the towel, give up and stay stuck.
Why is that? Why is change so hard sometimes?
There can be many reasons, but one of the biggest is fear. Fear can come in many different shades:
Fear of change: “I know this stinks, but this is familiar. What if something new stinks more?”
Fear of the unknown: “How will the change impact me? what will be different? Will it be different than I hoped/expected? How will I know my next step? How will I avoid any curve balls?
Fear of failure: “What if I can’t do it? What if I don’t succeed in creating change? What if I will never amount to anything? What will others think of me if I try and it isn’t a slam dunk?”
Fear of success: “what if I achieve my goal? What if the bar is raised too high for me? What if I can’t keep up with the change or new pace? What if people recognize my success and expect more of me? What if I succeed and everything changes?”
Fear of rejection: “What if I upset my friends, family or partner with this change? What if they judge me for wanting this change? What if I no longer fit in? What if they leave me or withdraw their love and support?”
Fear of being found out: “Who am I to try to dream this big? What if they think I am an imposter? What if people think I’m a fraud? What if people think that I don’t deserve this change like other people?”
So, what can we do when fear pops up? Here are 4 quick tips for practicing to quiet the fear:
Try to shake those fear-based thoughts and limiting beliefs. They need to be exposed to the light of day as the stinkin’ thinkin’ that holds us back from really uncovering and stepping into our awesome potential and individual greatness.
Remind yourself of why you want change. And be open to a different perspective on the fear-based thoughts. How will positive change feel? What other opportunities will the change create in your life? Visualize the outcome of the change.
Stay focused. Stay focused on the here and now. Stay focused on what you can control and what you can change. Remember your goal and the reason it is so important to you.
Baby steps. Create a plan and outline steps to take to achieve change. Remember, change is never linear. But each step forward is a step closer to change.
Is there a change you have been hoping to make in your life? Have you struggled in the past to stay the course? I would love to offer you support and guidance on your path to change. Know that you can reach your goals and make positive changes.
If you are ready to create change and need support; reach out and schedule a session with me today! I offer in-office or online sessions and can get you moving towards your goals! Please note, online (telemental health sessions) is only available to Illinois residents. I am in-network with BCBS PPO, BCBS Blue Choice, Optum, United Healthcare, Aetna, and Cigna.
Possibilities are truly limitless when you believe you can achieve all your goals.
Feel free to reach out to me at mary@riversjourneycounseling.com
